10 things to remember about growing up.
1. You don't need everyone to be your friend.
I used to squander so much of my energy on people whom I didn't even particularly like, just so they wouldn't dislike me. We just have to try hard to only let the opinions of those we actually care about matter, and give your energy to those who deserve it.
2. If you feel like you're doing a good job, chances are, you're doing a good job
Most of us will work in a profession that we're qualified for or be doing our damndest to learn everything we can to be qualified. So let's kick that self-doubt to the curb. After all, no one ever moved forward by thinking they couldn't do something.
3. People are not X-Men - you have to tell them how you feel.
Just like you wouldn't have known that bit of trivia about me if I hadn't told you, you can't expect people to magically divine how you're feeling. If you're angry, say it. If you're upset, tell the person who upset you why. If you admire something about someone, let them know.
Sidenote: how awesome would it be if we were all X-Men?!? I'd want some combination of Wolverine claws, Gambit energy and Professor X mind-reading skills.
“If you admire something about someone, let them know. ”
4. The energy you put out into the world will come back to you.
If you're always nagging or creating problems, that negativity will come back to you. So, as cliché as it sounds, try to only put out positive energy into the world, and that's what you'll receive in return.
5. Rejection sucks, but it doesn't define you.
Some people simply won't like you, or think you're a little weird. There could be a million reasons why you didn't get that job, or a guy didn't text you back, or someone doesn't want to be your friend anymore. It hurts to feel like you aren't good enough, but we must try our hardest not to dwell on that feeling because it does not define who we are.
6. If you don't ask, the answer is always no.
If you want something, you have to ask. Most people are kind and like being helpful, and what's the worst that could happen? A "no" won't kill you, you simply have to start again and find a different way to achieve your goal.
7. The worst that could happen is not as bad as what you're imagining it to be.
If you don't email someone back or arrive ten minutes late, it is not the end of the world. Most people are very understanding of the fact that everyone has an off day. Dwelling on apocalyptic end-of-the-world scenarios doesn't do anything for you, especially when things will almost always work out for the best.
8. You're a lot harder on yourself than anyone else could ever be.
No one has noticed those extra five, or saw when you accidentally waved enthusiastically at the wrong person. We tend to forget that we are all our own harshest critic and let that influence our view of ourselves. But all your friends love you just the way you are, and we all just need to be a little kinder to ourselves.
9. Purposely sabotaging yourself is never the answer.
Whether you are sabotaging yourself by blowing your budget, having that third piece of cake, or skipping the gym again, there is absolutely nothing to be gained from actively standing in your own way. Nothing. It doesn't make you one of the cool kids, nor will it help you achieve your goals in the long run. So cut it out.
10. If you're healthy & safe, and those you love are healthy & safe, not much else matters.
Yes, being single can be hard. Yes, having a fight with a friend, or getting yelled at by your boss, or dropping one of the wine glasses isn't fun. If you look at the big picture, though, none of those things matter. You are an inherently worthy, wonderful arrangements of atoms, and you're exactly where you're meant to be.
Johanna writes at Johanna Documented ( http://www.johannadocumented.com ), a blog all about honest stories & honest growth, living life authentically, and collecting the little moments. When she’s not writing, she enjoy spending hours in the kitchen, watching movies with as many explosions as humanly possible, and filling her Instagram feed ( https://www.instagram.com/johannadocumented/ ) with pretty pictures.