I hate the word "community."

BY MEGHAN REEVE

Meg is a 34 yr old iced coffee drinking California girl living in the PNW. She is a tiny human teacher and a cheerleader for the dreams of not only the tiny humans but every human in her life. She strives to show others who they are by trying to be exactly who she is on the daily.

I hate the word community. 

Now, I don't hate community- I'm just not a fan of the way that it is pushed on people or made to be stressful or shameful. Anything that has shame in it isn't community- anything that says you’re less than because you only have a small sacred circle is lame, and you don't need it. 

I've grown to love people over the last 15 years more than I ever thought possible. After being the president of my university choir, I grew such an appreciation for connecting humans and allowing others to hear the story. 

So I really hate the word community.

BUT I really, really love the fact that I've been put in environments where the building of community has been stressed or been made to be important and cherished.

I want to tell you a story about how I decided about three years ago that I didn't really want to have multiple birthday parties with different groups of friends that were in my life. I wanted to have one party, and I wanted the humans in my life to get to know the other humans in my life.

So, for my 32nd birthday, I invited about 30 people to my house for tacos. And it was awkward, but it was just the start.

We crammed thirty people into our tiny backyard and those that were a little braver maneuvered over the lines and squeezed into conversation and worked on breaking down what felt weird.

And then slowly, slowly connections started to get made. Friends who were looking to buy a house connected with another friend of mine who was a real estate agent. Over the next year, phone numbers were exchanged across friend groups and by my 33rd birthday, something wonderful happened.

About 30 people were gathered in a different backyard, dressed in 90s attire connecting and talking and catching up. And I have to admit, I teared up a little because I love my people. And to see friends who wouldn't have crossed paths had I not decided to make everyone eat tacos in my backyard (and then honestly just keep making them hang out together)--it's my favorite thing.

Now, you're probably asking: Why are you telling us this story? Creating and sustaining and bridging gaps in community isn't easy, but it's not impossible.You just have to push through the awkward. You have to push through the silence and the surface level conversation (but please have the surface level conversation). You have to remember that you don't need 30 people, really you just need 2 or 3.

You have to remember that you aren't going to click with everyone, and you don't have to.

I love making opportunities to provide food and drinks and games and laughter for people. If that's not your strong suit, that's ok. You don't need much. A bag of chips and a jar of salsa and a deck of cards, or a cheese plate, a bottle of wine, and the ability to ask "hey, do you want to come watch Grey's Anatomy with me and some other people?"

 I think I wanted to write these words to remind you that community is a buzzword but having people in your life to connect with, laugh with, and cry with is important.

I wanted to write these words to remind you that a few people is still a community.

I don't have all the answers on how to build and sustain community, but I do know that pushing past the awkward and remembering you won't click with everyone are things I need to remember.

If you need encouragement, you can find me on Instagram (@megmagnolia) and skim through the pictures of friends who weren't friends until someone else decided to invite us into another place in their life.

You can also find me to ask for my Crockpot pulled chicken taco recipe. You can find me on Instagram and message me if you don't have four dollars for a jar of salsa and a bag of chips . . . I'll send it to you.

I believe to the tips of my toes that you have all the things inside of you to invite people to gather. Just remember it's gonna be awkward, but it's going to be worth it.