Amplifying Voices.

Feb 12

Written By

This past fall, I had the opportunity to speak at a women’s conference with two women who exemplify all that I strive toward in my daily life. They are brilliant and kind and value growth; more than that, they are leaders in their field, AND they invited me to step up with them.

Let’s just say that the conference was several days of fangirling while trying to act cool and collected at the same time. But the reason we were there, and what I want to share with you, is our focus on how to bring other women alongside you and strengthen our voices collectively. It’s important to note that this can also apply to other marginalized voices as well.

Growing up as a Girl Scout, I was taught to be honest and fair, friendly and helpful, considerate and caring, courageous and strong, and a sister to the women around me. One leader exuded kindness and creativity and quietly supported all those in need of her care. Another leader exemplified openness and honesty, and the power of speaking up. Both are badass women.

I count myself lucky to have been surrounded by strong, confident women my whole life and career. I even put myself in the presence of strong women with the books I read. Cheryl and Maya and Brene and Glennon and Liz cover my shelves and bedside tables, find themselves in book clubs over margaritas and bottomless chips, and inhabit annotated and highlighted spaces.

Even with the strength, individuality, and bravery of the women on my shelves and in my life, I still can be brought down. My shoulders are not always pulled back in confidence, and my voice can shake, even in my head, when I feel like my words won’t hold value in the space I want to speak into. We’ve all been there. That longing to be in and feel like we belong in a space. Sometimes it’s even worse, in that we don’t feel like we deserve to be there in the first place.

So let’s talk about that metaphorical table. You know the one I’m talking about. The one you see that you may wish you could sit at. Or the one that you feel doesn’t have space for someone like you. Or even the one you’re sitting at right now. There are four big ways we can address this table:

001: Empathize

Women in particular tend to be really good at the empathizing role. As a counselor, it’s literally in my job description, and I can empathize for days. Empathizing about the table means looking at someone else and acknowledging how they feel: “I’m so sorry you’re not at the table.” This is helpful to validate feelings, although it doesn’t do anything to get someone closer to getting a seat.

002: Encourage

Encouraging means that you are the cheerleader. You are shaking your pom poms like the Navarro cheer team (Team Jerry and mat talk forever!) and supporting or motivating the other person, saying things like, “You could totally be at the table” or “You would be so great at the table” or “It’s their loss that you’re not at the table.” While it may not give them a seat, it recognizes their ability.

003: Empower

Empowering means that you are helping someone else realize their power, AND you help provide an opportunity. You pat that seat next to you at the table and tell them to sit down. “Here’s a big, squishy spinny chair; come join us.” This is a step in the right direction, because they now get to be at the table. They’re in the room. It is important to recognize that having a seat does not mean that person has a voice at the table.

004: Amplify

Amplifying someone else is to become their champion. It is giving their voice a platform and recognizing their agency by saying, “I saved your seat at the table and here is the microphone.” It is bringing the opinions and ideas of others to the forefront without taking credit. It’s hearing a great idea by someone else, whether recognized or not and saying, “As so-and-so just said, it’s important to discuss...” Increase the power of the voices in the room.

All four types of support are important because there are times we all need some empathy, encouragement, empowerment, and amplification. As we continue to build each other up and move towards being an amplifier of marginalized voices, there are some small steps we can start to take:

Celebrate the strengths of others out loud--in a meeting, in an email, in a conversation with people higher in status.
Connect people who could support each other, build each other up, or mentor one another. Be a network builder for others.
Don’t feel you have to present yourself as perfect all the time--this just makes what you have feel unattainable and doesn’t allow you to seek support you may need.
Ask someone to join you on a project, in a meeting, at a conference. Invite someone to your table and hear what they have to say.
Give credit where credit is due.

Another strong woman, Toni Morrison, once shared, “Your real job is that if you are free, you need to free somebody else. If you have some power, your job is to empower somebody else.” I challenge you to look around and see how you can share your power, and perhaps, another seat.