3 Healthy Tips For Using Social Media
BY CHRISTINE VEZAROV
Christine is twenty-something coffee-and-vibes enthusiast who comes alive sitting across women, hearing their stories and journeying with them towards health and self-discovery. She firmly believes in the beauty of process, community and finding true belonging. When she’s not writing, engaging creativity or coaching women, you’ll probably find Christine geeking out over her plants or snuggled in a corner reading or listening to personal development podcasts. Connect with Christine over on her Instagram or website!
You know what I’m not into? When someone airs out their dirty laundry online. It’s awkward, it’s not healthy and, frankly, it doesn’t foster any kind of encouragement either.
You know what I’m talking about. Maybe you’ve seen it in the works, or in all honesty, you’ve been that person. Gulp. (No shame)
Listen up. It’s 2020. The Internet hasn’t even been around for one full generation yet, so we’re all in learning mode about how it affects our brains, what it does to our mental health and relationships, etc. Things are changing literally all the time.
But, it’s also 2020. And our world heavily relies on being online.
While I’m all for it — hello, I live and breathe social media marketing and small business — but there are ways to do it authentically and in a healthy way.
When we do so, we not only protect our internal and external worlds but our relationships and reputation as well. These are “boundaries,” but they are not restrictive. They will help you flourish.
Here are three guardrails to help you show up on social media in the healthiest way possible:
Learn to trust the people in your life.
I am an authenticity advocate. Trust me, I believe that vulnerability and community is the way to strength and creates healthy humans. Having said that, there’s wisdom in knowing what should and shouldn’t be posted online – especially in real time.
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If my significant other and I are arguing, I’m not going to post about it.
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If I’m upset at a friend, I’m not going to post about it.
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If I’m triggered and processing real-time trauma or pain, I’m not going to post about it.
There is a time and place for each of these conversations, and our go-to should not be social media. We should confide our closest hurts with our closest people. That’s healing and redemptive.
Be intentional about cultivating places and spaces to show up and be real, without running the risk of being mere “entertainment” and creating more drama in your life. It matters.
Guardrail #1: Go to your closest people and process with them first, always.
Learn the art of transparency.
Do you know the difference between authenticity and transparency?
Here’s my definition: one is real and in real-time, and the other is real and past tense.
There’s nothing wrong with sharing the real things in your life.
Pain that has been processed becomes a part of your story. And your story helps other people come alive, find relief to their isolation and calls them to action in a beautiful way.
But wisdom applies here, too.
Here is the question I always ask myself before I post anything remotely vulnerable about my story:
“Would I be comfortable telling a complete stranger this about myself?”
If the answer is yes, green light – go ahead and share. If the answer is no, I go back to Guardrail #1.
We are always looking for connection, empathy and meaning – and that is a beautiful thing. Social media is a wonderful tool to bring people together. And there’s likely a reason you’re so passionate about what you’re sharing – you’re either going through or have gone through it.
A marketing tip for us storytellers: your story is always more powerful if you position yourself as the guide, not the main focal point of the story. The former brings others in who are seeking wisdom. The latter can easily isolate you as a victim who needs rescuing.
Guardrail #2: A powerful person speaks from a place of having gone through the journey. Be the guide, not the victim.
Learn how to step away.
Want to know the easiest way to tell if you’re addicted to getting your online social media fix? Try unplugging for a week and see what happens.
Healthy people know when it’s time to take a step back and take care of themselves, be present and tune in to their own emotions – without having to output online all the time.
Digital boundaries are healthy.
Digital boundaries will reveal where you get your source of identity and meaning from.
Digital boundaries will remind you that you are a human being, not a human doing.
Trust me, it’s easy to get swept up in the number of likes, follows, and comments. It’s really hard to not get caught up in the microwaveable validation Instagram can feed you. It’s non-stop. I get it. The scroll reflex comes easiest to us all – especially the first moment you wake up.
But remember: if you want to show up in a healthy way online, fully you and fully alive, learn how to step away when you need to.
Guardrail #3: Set digital boundaries – be a human being, first.