The Subtle Art of Finding Balance.

BY HEiDI PRAHL

Lover of Jesus, my family, really good coffee, and all things Chicago. I’m a living, breathing paradox.

I’ve been learning the fine art of balance in my life recently. Not necessarily intentionally, but life has a way of handing you what you need right when you need it sometimes. 

When the new year was fast approaching, my mind was racing about how I could make this new year, this new decade, extra meaningful. In the back of my mind, I knew I probably wouldn’t stick to any resolutions long term, but I was hopeful and determined to jot down my list. 

I wanted more than the traditional “lose weight” or “no more junk food.” I wanted something more true, more honest. Maybe it’s the fact that I can be sort of a rebel at heart, but I’m not convinced that in many cases cold hard restriction really serves us best. Yes, in cases of addiction or health issues, it can be absolutely necessary. But in our average, everyday lives, denial and restriction tend to cause us to long even more for what we’ve given up. 

I started playing around with the concepts of more and less, making a mental list of what I wanted more of: meaningful conversations, meals at home, picking back up of hobbies I used to love but laid down in seasons of darkness and depression. Then I started to ask: what is it that has kept me from having those things right now? If I’m honest: social media, mindless scrolling, bad habits, convenience food, laziness, fear. 

A simple pledge - no more social media, no more restaurants, just force yourself to start doing the things you used to love - would not work. I knew this. We’re not really wired that way.  Or at least I’m not. Not for anything that would create actual lasting change anyway. 

Getting really honest with myself was essential, and it turned out to be the perfect place to start. I realized I couldn’t make the changes I want, to move towards the life I want, if I wasn’t willing to address the why’s behind how I got here.

Simply stopping social media because I wanted to have more meaningful in person conversations wouldn’t address the truths behind why I do sometimes use social media as an escape, but also the truth that I do actually have meaningful interactions on social media that I’d be missing out on if I quit cold turkey. Forcing myself back into activities I once loved without addressing the seasons of depression that pulled me away in the first place wouldn’t be honest and probably wouldn’t be successful long term. 

This is hard work but it feels true. So much more true than some rattled off resolutions that are all about restriction and denial. This work cuts right to the heart of where meaningful change starts. 

I needed to have those hard conversations with myself - when I mindlessly scroll through my Instagram feed, refreshing it over and over, what am I really trying to avoid? What keeps me grabbing takeout instead of a knife, a cutting board, some onions and carrots and making a healthy meal for my family? Especially knowing that deep down I love cooking? If I’m craving real and honest conversation, why is it so hard for me to put my phone down when someone is talking to me? What happened to my passion for decorating and creating a beautiful and personal living space for my family? 

Only after all of that could I begin to find balance. Instead of setting impossible restrictions, I simply needed to remind myself of the idea that this choice would lead to that: knowing where your phone is every second of the day keeps you from engaging in hobbies you love. Not planning dinner early in the day will make takeout all the more appealing. Endlessly pinning ideas on Pinterest will keep you from actually doing any of those things in real life. 

Although it sounds simple on the surface, this was life changing for me. Instead of focusing on restriction or force, I was choosing to follow the principles of more and less, which is actually way more appealing. More meals at home, less restaurants. More meaningful conversations, less distraction. More doing, less scrolling.

Everything seemed so much more manageable in this light. I started looking back on my life and found that every time I’d inadvertently used this principle, it was successful. 

The key is balance. Not thoughts of forever denial and rigorous restriction. Balance is healthy, obtainable and sustainable. It draws us toward the most beautiful parts of life, yet is realistic enough to recognize our innate human-ness. Like yin and yang, balance finds principles that work together, hand in hand to conceive the perfect alchemy in creating the life you truly desire. A life you can maintain and sustain. 

This may sound overly simplistic or perhaps even decidedly obvious, but for me, striking balance in my life has felt like a tiny key into the vast complexity of life, and I’m relishing my newfound freedom that balance has brought.