The Prayers We're Too Afraid to Pray

BY SARAH ANNE HAYES

Sarah Anne Hayes is a believer, writer, and unabashed bibliophile. She spends her days running her small business, planning out her next adventure, belting out show tunes, and hanging out with her incredible fiancé. Sarah believes life is a gift meant to be celebrated, Tuesday morning should be as memorable as Saturday night, and nothing boosts your confidence like the perfect red lipstick.

At the beginning of this year, my husband and I closed on our new home.

After nearly a year of living in a less-than-ideal location, our sacrifices had paid off. With the help of a tenacious realtor, we’d found a home that needed a good bit of work, for sure, but it was exactly what we’d been looking for…and even more.

My husband and I live in Northern Virginia, just outside the nation’s capital. If you’re familiar with this area, you probably know the cost of living is steep.

Depending on the specific location, you’ll be hard-pressed to find even a studio apartment to rent for less than $1,300 or $1,400 per month. Houses that sold for $300,000 twenty years ago are now estimated at $750,000 or higher. I have more than one friend who’s moved out of the area simply due to the cost, and it’s something I’ve considered more than once myself.

When my husband and I began talking about what kind of home we wanted to buy, we definitely dreamed a little. Most of the dreams were related to a future home, some years down the road, but it was fun to dream all the same.

One of those dreams for me was a home on the water, because of all the places in the world, the water brings the most peace to my heart.

Maybe it’s the fact that I was born on an island. Maybe it’s the fact that I lived on one until I was almost five years old. Maybe it’s the fact that I lived a walk or short drive away from the beach until I was almost twelve. Maybe it’s all of those things; maybe it’s none of those things. 

Whatever it is, the water is where I feel the most calm, the most at peace, the closest to the Lord.

Life on the water is hard to come by in these parts, being that we aren’t exactly coastal. When you add scarcity in with the cost of living, it’s especially hard to come by unless you have an enormous amount of money.

When we looked at prices of places on the water, we quickly shut the dream down. One day we might own the couple of acres my husband dreams of, complete with chickens and a goat, but even ten or fifteen years from now, it seemed that a home on the water was out of the question.

Brought down from cloud nine, we began our search for our right-now home, giving our deal breakers and nice-to-haves to our realtor and trusting his expertise in finding us the perfect place.

After some tears over the loss of what I was convinced was the perfect place for us, we met with our realtor on a cold Sunday in December to view another home. It needed some work to be sure — new paint on every single wall, new floors, and other updates we’d dream up later — but when it came down to it, the home was perfect for us. It was a place we could grow into, in a wonderful location, at a wonderful price…and it was on the water.

My husband and I had prayed a lot during the homebuying process. We prayed as we began for the Lord to guide us to the right home. We prayed for wisdom and guidance as we looked at different options. We prayed for comfort when we missed out on the home I was convinced was perfect for us. We prayed it would all work out when we put an offer in on the home that became ours. 

We prayed for all the things you’d expect someone buying a home to pray for. But in all of those prayers, the thing I never asked for, the thing I never even considered, was a home on the water. 

I’d written it off. It was too expensive, seemingly impossible, and so not worth asking for. 

And yet…the Lord gave it to us. He answered the prayer I was too afraid to pray, the prayer I never ever thought could become a reality, the prayer I never even dreamed He would answer in this way. If I’m honest, the prayer I didn’t truly think He was capable of answering. 

But He did.

He did far more than all I could ask or imagine when He gave us this new home.

Now every day, when I wake up, step out on my back porch, and see the water, I am reminded that God desires to give us good gifts. He loves to give us the things we hope for. He is not a stingy God who withholds without purpose but an abundant God who wants to bless His people. That doesn’t always come by way of material or physical blessings, but sometimes it does.

It’s so easy to hold back in our prayers. It’s tempting to ask for the mundane or expected, to ask for the things that seem guaranteed. But we are not told to pray timidly or half-heartedly. Hebrews tells us to approach the throne of grace with confidence, with boldness.

We should have the faith to pray like Hannah, like Elizabeth and Zechariah, to pray for the seemingly impossible and trust that God will answer it. True, it may not be answered how we expect, but that shouldn’t stop us from praying for it.

I don’t know what your “house on the water” is, friend. I don’t know what the thing is you’re too afraid to ask for. Maybe a different job, maybe a spouse, maybe a child, maybe something bigger, maybe something smaller…whatever it is, ask.

You never know what might happen.