Choose Love, Eat Breakfast
ELIZABETH ROBINSON
Elizabeth is a wife and stay at home mom. She made it three weeks of marriage without getting pregnant. She now resides in her childhood hometown of Lititz, PA, where she has successfully convinced her husband and son that she is a world renowned chef and regularly performs standup comedy for them in her kitchen.
My love story is one for the ages. It’s a tale for another day, but the short version is that I met my husband, Greg, in line at a bookstore, and it was love at first sight. After briefly dating in college, we reunited seven years later and were married. Those early days were filled with a crazy love. The feelings were so overwhelming that at times I couldn’t even eat because I was so lovesick.
When I walked down the aisle, I knew I was making the best decision of my life. Marriage has brought on a number of difficulties. Disappointments, financial stress, and stomach flus to name a few. These obstacles exposed the good, the bad and the ugly in both of us. Although those “easier than breathing” feelings are still there, I have learned that love is not just an emotion, it is also a daily choice.
One morning soon after we got married, I decided to make Greg breakfast before he left for work. His favorite meal of the day is breakfast but rushing out the door at 6 am doesn’t allow time for a nice pancake and sausage platter. So, I toasted some bread, added some eggs and wrapped it up. After that first time, I realized that this small act of love could have a big impact on my marriage. I have made breakfast every morning since.
The morning after a date night filled with good conversation and laughter? Breakfast. The morning after hours spent up with a newborn? Breakfast. The morning after a huge blow up fight? Breakfast.
It is hard to deny the power of love. A difficult situation can almost always be turned around when one person decides to bring love in. That is why I get up every morning and choose to love my husband with breakfast. When I don’t feel love, I do love. The doing creates something in me. If I want there to be joy, happiness, and love in my marriage, I have to do my part to bring what I can offer to the table.
We have all faced these decisions in one way or another. Difficult coworkers. A pesky mother- in-law. A defiant child. Or maybe like me you’re choosing to love your spouse through the daily ins and outs.
If we want love to work, we must decide. Choose today to act out of love towards a person or situation. Feelings will come and go, people will let us down and probably drive us to our wits end at some point. You can only be responsible for yourself and your actions. Let’s decide now to act in love whether the feelings are there or not. Oftentimes, this is the more difficult option. It may be easier to ignore the frustrating person completely or even write it off as, “I’m not going to go out of my way if you’re not going to go out of yours.” Think of your choices and contributions to the relationship as building blocks. Ask yourself the question, “what am I building here?”
Next, choose a practical and sustainable action. Breakfast is something that is important to Greg. So even though toast and a quick scrambled egg is not a grand gesture, it goes a long way for him. It requires some effort from me, but not a great deal. For you, maybe this means committing to celebrating your mother-in-law. Every year at Christmas, you send a card. Her birthday pops up? You bake a cake. Perhaps you can offer to do the terrible task that your coworker hates. It could look like scribbling a note for your daughter and putting it in her lunchbox. You don’t have to stop the world to make an impact.
Now, before you decide to nominate me for the “Most Doting Wife” award, understand that there have been many times that I made breakfast with a bad attitude and stayed angry for the rest of the day. Other times I made breakfast knowing full well that Greg was not going to eat it. The key here is consistency. Sometimes things don’t change in an instant, but creating a habit of love builds something really beautiful over time.
We live in a culture that is enthralled with being in love. We have entire television shows dedicated to entertaining people with the emotions of it. But when the emotions wear off, you are left with the choice. The choice to be patient. To be kind. To bear all things, believe all things, hope in all things, and endure all things. When we choose to live this out in small, everyday commitments, we see that love truly does conquer all. I hope that you choose to love today. And hey, why not start with breakfast?