Simple Ways to Love on People When Gift-Giving is Your Love Language
BY MARIA VAUGHT
Maria is a wife, a new (stay-at-home) mom, and a psychologist. When she isn't performing daily work, you'll find her enjoying all the baby snuggles, spending quality time with her family and friends, reading, or writing. She believes in the power of words and therefore, writes with the desire to inspire.
Gift-giving has always been my favorite way of loving people. Even though I prefer to “receive” love differently (based on the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, PhD), giving gifts is how I express my love towards my husband and other people I care about. Whenever I am out and about, roaming the aisles of Target, visiting a gift shop, going through airports, exploring places, or even browsing online, my mind seems to automatically be on the lookout for something special for those I refer to as “my people.”
As a notorious gift-giver, my goal has always been to give genuinely, to give thoughtfully, to emphasize the connection and relationship I have with the recipient. Gift-giving doesn’t always have to be expensive. While everyone enjoys the occasional lavish treats and receiving things from their wish lists of tangible items, gift-giving doesn’t always have to focus on the thing itself. At times, it doesn’t even always equate to giving a physical thing. The psychology behind gift-giving suggests that the act lies on a foundation of kindness and caring. While this foundation is typically represented by tangible items, it can also be experiential. It can also be more the gesture and the gift of time.
Here are a few simple acts to try to love on people when gift-giving is your love language, but you want to avoid giving any more material things to your loved ones:
1.) Write them snail mail regularly. In this day and age of technology, writing a handwritten letter/note to your significant other, family member, or friend is not only a thoughtful gesture, but a true gift. There’s something special about receiving a letter in the mail that isn’t a bill or all the other junk that seems to be constant. One that you know the sender touched with their own hands and took time to compose. It’s personal, meaningful, and can be kept and revisited for years to come. It doesn’t cost much to mail a standard letter either. You don’t even need the fancy stationery. A page from a spiral notebook or regular printer paper would do the trick. It’s the words and the thoughts poured onto the piece of paper that becomes the gift. And if you want to take your snail mail game to the next level, you can even add a little something with your note. Perhaps a printed photo, stickers, or magazine articles/cutouts that might mean something to the recipient.
2.) Send them their favorite treat via a food delivery service. One convenient thing about the digital age is that almost everything is within our grasp. We can get food delivered to our doors with just a few taps on our smartphones. One way you can love on someone by “giving” is by sending them their favorite treat (or meal) via a food delivery app, especially when they’ve had a hard day. On challenging days, it is easy to find ourselves drained of energy, of motivation. The smile melts away from our faces and the thought of having to cook to fuel our bodies can be daunting. Receiving a gift on those days, whether it’s a box of cupcakes or our go to Chick-Fil-A order, is touching. It’s more than just the food (although it can be an instant mood booster!). It’s a way to remind someone that no matter what they’re going through, they are loved, they are cared for, they are not alone.
3.) Set up a standing lunch or coffee date with them. Life gets busy. We are all preoccupied with something. We’re focused on our careers, hobbies, goals, and various roles in life. And that’s totally ok. But setting up a standing lunch or coffee date with your special someone is a gift in itself. It’s a gift of time and of presence. It’s about loving people enough to show them you are not too busy for them to be put on the backburner of life. Making the time and effort to meet up with your person or people shows they are a priority too.
4.) Pass down meaningful books. Sometimes we read books that move us. In my case, as an avid reader, there are certainly books I keep so I can reread it over and over again. But there are also books that impacted me deeply but don’t necessarily wish to keep on my bookshelf. In fact, some of these books I want others to also read so they could potentially reach into their souls like they did mine. One of the best presents I’ve ever received was a well-loved book from my best friend. She wrote a message in it for me, which made it even more special. It is now a treasured gift because I know it was loved by someone I love. I know it will impact me in both similar and different ways it has impacted her. Next time you’re going through your bookshelf, perhaps you will find books that make you think of another person. Perhaps after reading this you will realize just how much you think a book you’ve read and own could benefit someone else. If either of this is the case for you, grab that book, maybe write a personal note inside, tie it with a bow, and pass it on to that person.
These are just a few of the various creative and affordable ways you can love on people if gift-giving is your love language. It really doesn’t have to be lavish all the time. Yes, a nice cute thing from the store is always wonderful, but the little things sometimes make the biggest impact. Sometimes giving the little things that say I see you, I know you, I understand you, I’m here for you, you are special, you mean the world to me is the best way to let someone know you love them.