Being a Habitualist Versus a Ritualist

BY ALESSIA EVANS

Alessia is a Welsh-Italian Psychology Graduate and aspiring Life Coach from Pembrokeshire, West Wales UK. She is fascinated by philosophies for self-actualization and improving your life. She loves hikes along the Welsh Coastline, great conversation (with anyone!), and listening to soul and R&B music while cooking.

Visualize a time where you were at your happiest. How long did the feeling last? Was it weeks? Perhaps, it was only seconds. 

The sensation never sticks though, does it? Research determines that a year after claiming their prize money, even lottery winners are no happier than before they bought the winning ticket – so you’re not alone!

There is, in fact, an evolutionary purpose for this. As humans, we instinctively adapt to our immediate circumstances for our survival – this includes joyful situations. The process is referred to as Hedonic Adaptation and the Happiness Set Point (or HSP) is the term for the average level of happiness we return to – and it’s stubborn! Nevertheless, by maximizing your life satisfaction and quality you can raise your HSP. To assist you in doing so, I hereby propose two personas: The Habitualist and The Ritualist. You decide which speaks to you most.

The Habitualist: 

A person who consistently engages in small but impactful positive behaviours which cumulatively lead to an increased quality of life due to long-term positive outcomes. Put simply, someone who adopts a system of “good habits” which make their life better.

Definitively, a habit is an activity we repeat subconsciously, so you’d be forgiven for conjuring images of smokers, nail-biters and that friend who always “puts their foot in it” in conversation. We primarily jump to thoughts of “bad habits,” because they’re notoriously persistent!

Yet there is so much to be said for harnessing habits that aren’t detrimental to our lungs, cuticles, or social life. In fact, filling your days with “good habits,” like The Habitualist, enhances your quality of life and therefore raises your HSP. 

Here’s how you can embody The Habitualist today:

1. Move - Changing your physical state increases your heart rate which, in turn, stimulates brain regions that maximize feelings of motivation, focus, and productivity. Start by developing an association between an everyday activity such as making a coffee with being physical, like doing squats while waiting for the kettle to boil… That toned booty will just be a bonus!

2. Give – When you feel a sense of gratitude for an aspect of your life, consider a way to improve someone else’s. Offer time, money, or a service to a charity, group, or individual who needs it. You’ll instinctively start seeking reasons to be grateful and feel empowered by helping others.

3. Save – Money isn’t everything, but it does help if your car breaks down! No matter the size of the contribution, saving money will always lead to reward, be it loose change to buy a fancy coffee on the weekend or a percentage of your salary for five years to buy your next home. Good saving habits reflect strong self-worth because you are consistently reminding yourself you are worth investing in.

The Ritualist: 

A person who engages in varied secular practices to raise one’s life satisfaction by promoting a sense of purpose, meaning, and belonging. Put simply, someone who adopts rituals that make them think and feel more positively.

By definition, a ritual is a “religious or solemn ceremony consisting of a series of actions performed according to a prescribed order.” However, even if we don’t assign ourselves to a “prescribed order,” there’s no disputing that there are benefits to be gained from traditional rituals such as meditation, prayer, and congregation.

Be creative, like The Ritualist. Adopt, develop, and vary the activity and routine of your ritual to maintain the novelty effect and counteract the instinct to adapt. This will raise your HSP overtime. 

Here are 3 ways you can harness your Ritualist today: 

1. Mindfulness – based on the Buddhist ritual of Meditation, not to be confused with simply sitting silently. You can breathe, bathe, eat, and even walk mindfully. Be sure to set an intention for your practice; gratitude is always a great place to start.

2. Journal – as an alternative to praying, take time to scribe your thoughts. Research reveals that the therapeutic effects of writing typically outweigh medication! Furthermore, you’ll realize when reading your entry back that all your solutions are within yourself.

3. Connect - congregate with people who have shared interests with you: join a book club or exercise class, for example. We all desire connection on some level and by embedding ourselves in a like-minded community we gain a sense of belonging.

So, which persona stands out to you most?

In truth, by harnessing both The Habitualist and The Ritualist, you will experience happiness on a significantly deeper level and sustain it, so whatever you decide - just start now.