40 for 40 Project

PORSHA ADDISON

Porsha Addison is a writer, wife, and mom of a toddler son, who teaches her the art of patience, finding joy in small moments and innovative problem solving on a daily basis. Porsha has a MFA in Professional Screenwriting from National University. Her TV pilot, Anonymous, has placed in several competitions. Most recently, it was a Top 10 Genre Finalist in Comedy with the Creative Screenwriting Unique Voices competition. She also has a passion for art. One of her sketchbooks is on display digitally with the  Brooklyn Art Library.  Porsha is also an award-winning baker, a sucker for a book club, also enjoys providing support to others through positivity and encouragement, as she believes happy people make the world a better place. Porsha lives in the Philadelphia suburbs, yet has never had a cheesesteak. 

I am one of those people that love birthdays, and I do mean love! While I certainly enjoy a day that’s dedicated to just me, I also enjoy other people’s birthdays. In my opinion, the best ones are milestone birthdays. It starts when you hit double-digits at 10, then 16, 18, and 21. Sure most people start to look at birthdays a bit negatively when they get to 30. Then there’s, dare-I-say-it, 40. 

While I was fully aware of the mid-life crisis implications and the over-the-hill jokes, I couldn’t have been more excited to celebrate the big 4-0. So much so that I started planning my fortieth birthday in my early thirties. Forty seemed like such an adult age. It’s the year where you can see those hard times, failed relationships, shoebox apartments, past due bills, cups of ramen noodles in the rearview mirror, and finally, say that you made it to the other side. How amazing is that?!

While 40 is considered the midpoint of your life, we all know that you don’t make it that far without a little help. I wanted to celebrate forty in style, but I also wanted to acknowledge forty people that made a positive impact on my life. I wanted to use my birthday as an opportunity to thank them for helping me become the person I am. 

I started to craft my list in my late thirties. I made sure to keep in touch or at the very least keep tabs on these individuals so that I could salute them with an award. No, seriously. An actual award. It wasn’t going to be any ole fortieth birthday. I was planning an award ceremony. I contacted caterers and trophy stores. I designed invitations and lined up a master of ceremonies to co-host the event. I was in the final stretch of preparations, then the coronavirus pandemic occurred in March 2020, completely obliterating my plans for a June celebration. With the entire world surviving a global pandemic, it didn’t seem possible to celebrate anything. Then I realized, there was no better time. 

I located my fancy stationery and a book of stamps and started to write handwritten letters to those forty award recipients. Thus my 40 for 40 Project began. One-by-one, I mailed them off. While these letters were intended to be filled with gratitude, I was honest about mistakes that were made, issues that occurred, and lessons that were learned. In some cases, it took weeks to complete one letter. I found time to write during my lunch hour at work or at 5 a.m. before my son woke up.  

I was not prepared for the reception I would receive as a result. The joy that was shared with me when individuals received their letters was overwhelming! Honestly, I surely thought I had said these things in person at one point or another directly to them. However, I was informed time and time again that wasn’t the case. In fact, there were memories that I referenced that had been completely forgotten. My willingness to be vulnerable to possible misgivings was appreciated. These letters helped strengthen relationships, gain closure and resolve issues. In hindsight, I don’t think an award could have ever been as impactful. 

To be fully transparent, this project is still in progress. As we continue to navigate this new normal, combat languishing and adjust our lives to meet our rediscovered values, finding time has been more difficult than ever. However, taking the time to send a note is worth finding the time.  

And with that, here’s my challenge to you, (if you so choose to accept it):  

CREATE YOUR OWN HANDWRITTEN LETTER PROJECT! 

No need to feel overwhelmed. Here are some tips to get you started: 

·      Who Should I Write to?

o    I personally chose to write letters to people that made a positive impact in my life but that doesn’t need to be the basis of the candidates you select. Possible options are people you haven’t seen in a while or relatives out-of-state. If you feel overwhelmed writing to another person don’t hesitate to write a letter to yourself! 

·      Remember That You Are in Complete Control of This Project:  

o   Perhaps you aren't 40 or can’t think of more than twenty people, no worries! Consider writing one letter a month for 2022. Feel free to call it 12 in 22 Project or perhaps one letter a quarter and it becomes the 1 for 4 Project. You can also not use numbers at all. It’s totally up to you. Have fun with it! 

·      What’s Most Important is That You Start, even if it Takes Time to Finish:

o   I started my 40 for 40 Project in 2020. It’s almost 2022. Clearly, there is zero judgment on my end. 

You’ll be amazed at the connection you can build with another person (or yourself) armed with only a piece of paper and a pen.