There’s no easy answer, but I think it would benefit us all to take fewer cues from societal shoulds, social media, or marketing campaigns, and instead strive to observe the changing seasons of our lives in the way we watch summer blaze into fall, or spring blossom from winter– without judgment or rush to action, with acceptance, with a celebration of the uniqueness, the worth, of each new stage over fruitless yearning for some other time. After all: there’s beauty and value in even the hardest seasons of our lives, if we can accept that suffering is as much a part of life as any positive emotion, if we can accept change as the only constant, if we can accept that all things– both good and bad– eventually pass, if we can try to appreciate rather than resist.

Sometimes, you have to leave and not wait for the “perfect” time. It could be other things besides your health that make you leave. The company culture, you need time to look for another job, or simply you need more time off. And that’s okay. I want to normalize letting go without having everything in place.

Thankfully, I can recognize when plans need to change. I don't often push through to complete things at the expense of health, sanity, and pleasure. But I often mourn my original plans much longer than necessary. I think "If only.... If only.... If only…," and it's really not very helpful. I linger on the things I miss out on instead of seeing what’s next. When I was frustrated with my fretting on that too-hot day, I looked at my kids, and my jaw nearly dropped out how swiftly and easily they adapted to the new situation. How did they do that? What's the difference between them and me?

Deconstruction is quite terrifying, actually. You find yourself in a strange land where all the things you’ve ever known (and parroted) about “backsliding” or “losing your salvation” play out like the preview to the most terrifying psychological thriller, on repeat. You’ve shed the layers of who you used to be, and you can’t step back into that person, but you really wish you could, because it would be so much easier. Add in the voices of those who are “concerned.” These voices are loud, and they want nothing more than for you just to conform.

What would happen though, if instead of looking at our feet, waiting for the next thing to run us over, we trusted our balance. We trusted that we can remain steady, and that if we fall, we will still be ok. And even if we aren’t ok--we will get there.

For years I have held onto this idea of authenticity, of growing in my own self-awareness and self-acceptance, recognizing I have something good to offer the world as myself. No need for pretenses or performances or mirages. If I am to be accepted, it should be as myself, not a caricature of how I wish to be perceived.

I’ve found five strategies to be particularly helpful to pursue my dreams and goals without putting myself or my dreams in a box. However, don’t let these ideas simply evolve into another goal post or benchmark for your plan. These strategies are meant to inspire you to live your dreams without the need to plan your life in charts and checkboxes.

Whether I’ve sought the change or it has arrived on its own free will, I remind myself all of the things we’d have missed if we’d tried to hold on too tightly to the status quo. I think about the opportunities that have come from taking chances and letting go.