I realized that there is strength in asking for help, and that interdependence, community, and trust is the true mark of self-reliance.

When you find yourself succumbing to the lie that wellness is not possible, that you have no way out of all the despair, know this: you are not alone in your battle, and you are worth fighting for. Asking for help is not weakness, it is strength in itself. Find your life raft. I promise it’s there. Depression doesn’t have to win.

Hard feelings look different for everyone. For some, it’s paralyzing; you feel like your brain is put on pause from too many thoughts flying around. For some, it can manifest as physiological symptoms: headaches, stomachaches, fatigue, insomnia.

We now live in a society where seeking mental help is normalizing and accepting. However, mental health in the Black community is neglected a lot. It is looked down upon to go to counseling or talk to a therapist.

I used to wonder this on the daily, feeling that diagnosis heavy on my forehead. I wore the bitterness and helplessness of that very question for so long. Depression became my identity everywhere I went, wondering if people saw it in big bold letters too.

Guys aren’t supposed to have anxiety disorders. They’re supposed to be logical and analytical. Stoic and serene and somehow bold at the same time. Confident in everything they believe in. Self-assured. 6’5’’ and ripped.

But I’m a guy, and I’m practically none of those things. 

You’re gonna find a way to make things work, and even though it might take a little while, your life is going to become brighter than you ever thought it could. 

Our wounds don’t disqualify us from being vulnerable, loving our partner well, or doing relationships in a healthy way. Facing off with depression and anxiety together simply provides a path to cultivating a healthy connection. No victim mentality here. We’ve learned to see mental health issues as a gift, an opportunity, and we both give and receive. It's not about me; it’s about we.